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DRAGON SLAYER
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In a distant land, long ago, an old wizard makes a flaming potion; while in current time, a viewer doesn't care, as he is preoccupied with the paradox of his love for tomato soup, and bitter hatred for tomatoes themselves. Continuing with the movie. I didn't realize right away, but this film is actually a Disney film, hardly something you would normally see on the B-movie reviews. A couple things landed it here anyways, I have never heard of it before, and I took notes throughout the entire thing, and they will not be wasted. This is a fantasy flick, what with your dragons, knights, wizards and such, but a disappointing lack of midgets. Every spring and autumn equinox, the king must sacrifice a young, virgin female to the local dragon as a sort of protection fee. The wizard and his apprentice, Galen, are none too happy about the whole arrangement, and decide it is time something is done. They offer to the king's guard to slay the dragon. The guards mock them. Finally they determine that if the wizard can pass a test, he can go kill the dragon. The test? He must stab himself. He does. He dies. His faithful assistant (who was also that tiny elf guy from The Never Ending Story who was the foremost scholar on the southern oracle), his apprentice (the possessed artist from Ghostbusters 2), and another guy that is somehow tied into it all; all of them sneak out anyways to slay the dragon, thus really making the wizards death unnecessary. Their journey begins. Galen decides to take a swim. His buddy is already in there, and admittedly states that he is not comfortable with Galen stripping down and joining him. But hold the phone! He is a SHE! As Galen swims underwater towards his 'buddy,' he notices that their special parts are not the same. According to the girl, "no one has ever known since I was born." This raises all kinds of interesting questions, none of which will be addressed. The journey continues, when there is a simple ambush, and the old man assistant is shot with an arrow. This is, in all my b-movie experience, the most unintentionally comical death I have ever seen. In a really casual tone he says "I'm afraid you're going to have to pry that out of my hands," and "someone shot me, but I can still talk." This is a part worth rewinding. Anyways, the remaining two find the dragons cave, Galen tries his luck at a spell, and the cave collapses. Everyone rejoices. But not the king. Upon their return, the king doesn't believe a word of it! To convince him, Galen has to put on a magic show. Something about this king and his unreasonable tests. The king doesn't like the show, and throws Galen in the dungeon. In the meantime, we find the dragon did not die, and instead he torches a priest. The king holds his drawing to see who will be the next sacrifice. Oooh, but he is thwarted by his own daughter! She has filled the jar from which they draw a name with only her name, for she has learned that her father has excluded her all this time, although it is illegal. At this point, I guess Galen has escaped with the help of the boy/girl. They make shields out of dragon scales, and stop the sacrifice. Baby dragons eat the princess. Finally the apprentice faces the dragon one on one in the cave, using the scaley shield to block the fiery breath, and then stabs the dragon in the throat. After all this, a tornado of green fire appears, and turns into the old wizard who helps finish off the dragon by exploding. Not a bad finish, but not a great movie. That's why they are B. © 2005 actionplant.com. all rights reserved.
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